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Wednesday, January 3, 2018

Complaining just to Complain

I’ll be honest, when I’m around someone who is chronically whining, complaining, bitching and moaning I have to walk away. When I see their post on social media I stop reading all of their posts. I stop short of unfriending them, I mute - although I have unfriended some. 

These complainers use sarcasm to mask their bitterness - but it's not really funny sarcasm it downright nasty. There just bullies. These are the same people that do one good thing and expect everyone to praise them.   

I used to think people complained because they just wanted to “vent.” I can totally understand the concept of venting for mental health sake. But then identify the root cause and solve the problem. If you can't fix the issues that are making you complain - then just shut up.  

Sitting on your hands and complaining is useless energy.
I use of energy, which is a limited and precious resource to make my life positive. I'm no ball of sunshine all the time but I make an effort each morning to put a good thought in my head, something I'm grateful for or something I'm going to that day. I like the idea of only expending my energy on things that I can control not what I can't.
I can’t control the weather (but I can dress accordingly).

I can’t control traffic (but I can control what time I’m on the road).
I can’t control what Donald Trump tweets about, so I don’t spend any energy (to complain about) it.
Negativity is contagious. Now, there are real reasons for gossip and complaining: It helps us maintain social bonds. It brings us together against a common enemy.
1. Negativity Breeds Friendship
What better way to make new friends than by venting together on the various atrocities commonly experienced in daily life, such as the usual hot weather complaint? 
2. Help-Rejecting Complainers
You had just given up. It was your tenth attempt and you do not want to try anymore. You just want to vent and release some of that negativity to your friends. So, you go and complain about your failure to your best friend. They do what all good friends do, offer advice. Without even listening to them you reject whatever they say by explaining how you already tried the suggested method and hit another roadblock. 

3. I am special and I know it.
Usually, we do this when we want to distance ourselves from the general population. For example, people who eat school lunches are gross. The person who says this statement usually knows that their listeners partake in this action, but act as if they are wholly unaware in order to establish superiority while making others around them uncomfortable.

4. Power Struggles

We have all been in this situation before. Two friends, who we support no matter what, are suddenly against each other for some inconsequential reason. They both vent their frustration against the other in front of you in attempt to lure you to their side of reasoning. If you submit and agree with one of their complaints, you run the risk of endangering a friendship. In this situation, complaining becomes a powerful tool to control others.

5. Saving Face

You messed up again. Now it is time to choose what you are going to blame for your failure because surely it is not your fault and your parent, teacher, or coach will definitely understand it’s not your fault. So, you go ahead and blame the horrible traffic for being late again to practice. You blame your teacher for your terrible grades to your parents. You blame your parents for wasting your time for studying to your teacher.

Or you could just be a miserable person and you want to make everyone around you miserable. 

Complaining is also bad for your health. While it's not an exaggeration to say that complaining leads to brain damage, it doesn't stop there. When you complain, your body releases the stress hormone cortisol. ... It even makes the brain more vulnerable to strokes.


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